The Last Guide You'll Ever Need

Zombies

In Post-Apocalypse on November 10, 2009 at 10:23 am

I’ve noticed over the past year or two a growing interest in Zombies. Films, books, comics, websites, festivals, pub crawls, etc. On our public radio station last week, a doctor was discussing zombies and classifying their behavior in medical terms. He was going over what was possibly damaged in their brain and what could cause their desire for flesh. Hey! Listen up, there’s no such thing as zombies. (Continued…)

I know that offends some of you apocalypse survivalists. You’re looking forward to a zombie apocalypse because it looks pretty sweet blowing away zombies with a sawed-off shotgun. Well tough guy, if your survival gear includes a shit load of guns, grenades, land mines and a battle axe, you’ll be disappointed, and you’ll be dead. 

Like I’ve said, guns are important, but it’s not the whole pair o shoes. I have people email me everyday like this, 

Ok what am I missing? I have ( takes a deep breath) Weapons- sawed off pump shot gun, Scoped pellet rifle. machete, two steel handled axes, tons of knives hatchets ect. a few old school hand tools. (Hand crank drill, saw ect. Bow, Soon to make a cross bow. hand made blow gun. Home made wood stove, My problem is I live in a trailer park in Ky. While my safe house and apocalypse colony live in Mi. any suggestions?

Well buddy, nice work on gathering the gear, but did you think about what you’re going to eat? You can loot  SuperAmericas for only so long. 

The world certainly won’t be friendly. More people will die after the apocalypse than from the actual calamity, and many at the hands of each other.  People will be desperate to survive and will kill you for your gear with out a second thought. So go ahead and pack that gun or your hand made blown gun, but I guarantee you’ll be more concerned about what you’re going to eat than finding a zombie to hit in the head with a banjo.

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  1. Finally some action on this site; but I think one of your more meandering Survivor. I think we have to forget about zombies and start worrying about the real threat… post-apocalyptic rabies! Rabies can be transmitted by saliva, and once symptoms set in, the disease is fatal. Just ask Edgar Allen Poe. So pack up your canned peaches and seeds… we’re busting out of Kentucky!

    The Future King of Upper Michigan

  2. I think the reason zombies are so popular is because they allow people to be survivalists without having to admit they’re actually worried. Survivalists often come off as extremely crazy so the average person doesn’t really want to be associated with them.
    But with zombies people are comfortable making plans and preparations because zombies aren’t real. So clearly its just for fun.

    That’s my take anyways.

  3. It is strange we live in a world where preparing for a zombie apocalypse is considered more sane than being areal world survivalist.

  4. rotting flesh cant be reanimated, no more then wood can speak. i agree with the rabies thing, as well as all disease, bacteria, virus and germ being the real problem. with no medicine being made sickness will speep the world. Think plague. no walking dead, just dead. avoid sick people, because the apolalypse has no sick days.

  5. “the apocolypse has no sick days” awesome! Picture that said in a gruff voice by a guy with a two day beard and a toothpick hanging out of his mouth! Epic!

    On the issue of disease. If you come across a dead body, do what you can to burn it. Try to get as close to pure ash as possible, and try to do it mass-grave style to reduce resource costs. If burning them is too much resource cost bury them at least 5 feet deep, again, mass grave. When you bury them, see if you cant find any lye (hardware stores). pour the lye about a 1/2 inch think onto the bodies before you toss on the soil. The lye will eat away at the bodies faster then natural decomp.

    Do not EVER kill or harm a cat (they are your saviors, they eat rats which in turn prevents the spread of disease). You are now Egyptian, worship the cat. Heck, keep a cat with you where ever you go. They will protect you from most rodent pests. Or a hunting dog, but make sure to train him on killing rodents before the society-disrupting event or he’ll be useless during except for big game.

    As for zombies, the Living Dead series is about us, everyone of us and how we go through our day as zombies, barely aware of our surrounding or what it means to be alive. We are the walking dead. Shawn of the Dead illustrates this point more bluntly and with more humor. The fight against zombies is the fight against our selves in order to become more aware, more alive, and more able to face the next challenge in life. At least that is what the interviews say.

  6. Zombies equate to Cannibals. Cannabilism will be a real possiblility. History shows us our fears are well within bounds, as accurate occurances. Some examples:

    The Donnor Party
    The Andes Soccor player plane crash
    Easter Island
    Many South sea Islands
    African tribes
    Native American tribes
    Maybe you-Maybe me

    Learn to eat wild plants, and insects. I’ve heard pound for pound insects have 7 times the protein that beef provides. Give me roasted Grubs, or candied ants, over boiled human-any time!

    If anyone is interested I can pass on instructions for rock candy insects. Good storage life-tasty protein.

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