The Last Guide You'll Ever Need

Do Not Get A Gun

In Post-Apocalypse on May 11, 2009 at 9:47 am

A gun should be at the top of your survival list, unless of course you’re an idiot. If you have only seen guns in movies, you should not get a gun.  I imagine many of you knuckleheads buying a pistol, that you insist on calling a “glock,” and holding it at an angle while you try to remember Bustas’ lines from Higher Learning. (Continued…)

The, first and obvious issue here is safety.  If you have only seen guns in movies and you try to spin the pistol like a damn cowboy, there’s a good chance you will meet disaster by your own hand. We saw what happend to Plaxico Burress, but he was in New York City and could have walked to the hospital. If that happend after the Apocalypse, Plax would lose more than his game check.

Second, having a gun will make you over confident. For instance, if you manage to get your hands on a nice assault rifle, maybe a FN SCAR and a whole bunch ammo, you are going to start feeling pretty good about your chances of survival. You may start walking out in the open, humming Mama Mia while waving to the cannibals on the street. You will be tempted to let your guard down. Over confidence is far more dangerous then not having a gun.

Having a gun also makes you a bigger threat to fellow survivors who may not realize you have your heart in the right place. If they see you first and see you are packing heat, a peaceful greeting may seem far too risky. Taking you out, and taking your gun may very well strike them as the best course of action.

The third reason is maintenance. If you do not know how to take care of a gun and it’s ammo, you will be carrying around a lot of heavy metal that is all too likely to let you down when you need it most.

Finally, having a gun may give you an itchy trigger finger. You may think you’re a tough guy, and dream of bustin’ a cap. But if we’re talking about Higher Learning quotes, remember Cole Hauser’s line, “Shut the f*** up Remy, You ever shot anything? Better yet, you ever shoot a piece of meat? Seen what bullets do to flesh?” Killing is no joke, even in the Apocalypse. 

If you know nothing about guns, or have only shot a one in a video game, I would still recommend buying one, but take it seriously. Learn how to take care of it and how to stay safe around one. A gun is a powerful tool, but in the hands of an idiot, it is a dangerous one.

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  1. I like how you’ve gone full ciricle; one of the very first posts was, “Get a Gun.” I understand the need for caution and concern; a gun will not be a panacea for all problems post-apocalypse, but it will be a necessary tool as far as a hunter/gather dynamic is concerned. I think this article speaks more to the fact that the good people of Survivor have matured in their thinking. NOW… ABOUT MY BOLT-CUTTERS!!!

    — The Future King of Upper Michigan

  2. As I am working my way through the posts I see a lot of gun-worship. I also see discussion of the lack of industrial processes. Chemical propelled weapons require chemicals to propel the little balls of lead… this means finding the chemicals, smelting the balls (to the right shape for the gun you have), and then you can put the pieces together to make the traditional bullet. Or you can loot them… for while.

    Handguns will not work for hunting big game, you will just piss them off. Rifles are the better choice for hunting, but again, the chemical propulsion issue is hard to get around.

    My solution is arrows. even stone tip arrows kill buffalo. You can steal a composite bow or make your own regular bow or cross bow. Up to you. The bolts or arrows (depending on your bow) can be made from wood you find or cut down yourself. The tips can be made from hammered aluminum cans or smelted metals.

    You can also tip them is poison for anti-human weapons (depending on the poison you dont want to eat the meat). You can brew poisons from home grown plants. Also, it should be noted that a sharp arrow tip can cut through Kevlar like butter. While the gun has better range and faster re-load arrows are easy to make yourself, lighter, and friendly looking. Also, very very quiet. In the post-society-disrupting event world you do not want people to know where you are. A gun is a big “HEY I’M OVER HERE”. An arrow will quietly zip through the air, killing its target with out alerting the other crazies to your where-abouts (or other prey to the fact there is a hunter nearby).

    In short range combat you want an axe (because it is multi purpose) and a long knife (also multi purpose) and one poison tipped small blade in your ankle strap as a last ditch effort at survival in combat. But keep in mind every single weapon you carry can be turned on you.

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