The Last Guide You'll Ever Need

Escape from Bilbao, Spain

In Post-Apocalypse on March 5, 2009 at 10:53 am

Bilbao, Spain

Bilbao, Spain

Dear Sir, i first want to congratulate you on your fine website. I am writing for some advice for when the big one comes, I currently live near Bilbao, Northern Spain, about 10 kms from the centre and im interested in your advice. I live with my wife and small son. What would you suggest is the safest place to go in the world or Europe? or do you think i should stay put with the crazy basques and tough it out in a tribe somewhere near the mountains? good luck and enjoy every day.yours guy:) aka jediprof

It is good of you to ask my Basque friend! Though, it’s best to leave Star Wars delusions behind jediprof, the Apocalypse will not be kind to you or your continent. Though not as bad as Asia, Europe is set up to be a cesspool in the post-apocalyptic world. It lacks open country, it’s people are used to provider-type governments and the population density is 4 times that of the United States. Now that’s fine when your sewers are working properly and the 40 million people around you are well fed and not looking to steal your last jar of berberechos. After the Apocalypse hits you’ll want to get the hell out of there. (Continued)

  • North America – 32 people per square mile
  • Europe – 134 people per square mile
  • Asia – 203 people per square mile
  • Africa – 65 people per square mile
  • Australia – 6.4 people per square mile
  • Spain – 231 people per square mile

The cities will be a riotous mess, but where else should you go? I’ll admit that I’ve thought of this for a while. Spain does not have a lot of options. You could head south to Morocco, but that place sucks. The population density is high (181 sq/m), you won’t be able to speak the language and alcohol will be tough to find. Furthermore, it’s people are worse off and will be more desperate. Oh, and it’s a damn desert.

It seems your only option is to head north to the Pyrenees Mountains. A beautiful place as I’m sure you know.  There will be enough space to grow food in the summers and the winters will be mild. The rough terrain will keep enough of the apocalyptic-freakazoids away, but remember that you won’t be the only person in Spain and France to think of heading to the mountains. You won’t be alone up there so be cautious, but remember to be kind. Not all post-apocalyptic travelers will be murderous-thieving-cannibals. 

The best part about the Pyrenees is that you’re not too far away. The bad part is that it may not matter because you may not be able to go there directly. The problem is that there appears to be only one road from Bilbao to the mountains, Autopista del Cantábrico. When la mierda golpea el ventilador that road is going to be full of little Euro golf carts. If you have a car, you could try it, but it’ll be a struggle. Oh and its a toll road too. Yuck. 

You’re welcome to try that highway, but you have one other option:  Make like Hernado de Soto and sail out of Bilbao.

 Getting the boat and learning to sail is up to you, but if you can get that far, take that boat down the channel and into the Atlantic. Stay close to the shore as you head north until you get to the town of Saint Jean de Lus. It’s a ways up there so bring a lunch and maybe something for dinner. OK, better bring a bagel for breakfast too. You guys like bagels right? Anyway, once you’re in Jean de Lus you’ll need to get onto Route de Saint Ignace. That will take you into the Pyrenees and safety. If I were you I’d try to find a monastery to work for food and lodging. There is one Monasterio in Urdazubi-Urdax not too far away. If you could convince the brothers to take you in as a worker, you may just find the monastic life quite nice. Pray for the rest of us Brother JediProf.

See you in the Apocalypse,


  1. I’d almost say you’re better off stocking a boat and staying away from land for three weeks. The majority of killing should be done by then. Just be afeared if the seas be turnin to boilin’ blood and the mighty arms of the Kracken be hunting ye down.
    The Future King of Upper Michigan

  2. I notice you haven’t mentioned The Capital of the Free World, also known as Washington DC, in your ‘Escape’ series yet. Get cracking, sir 😀

  3. “The rough terrain will keep enough of the apocalyptic-freakazoids away” – do you really think so ?

    I am trying to create an EU survivors group mail me :

  4. I live in Austin, TX, U.S.. I have acess to asemmi rural lake house about an hour out. It is below a huge dam. Should I go there, considering the risk of the dam being destroyed and washing me away?

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