The Last Guide You'll Ever Need

Prepare for the Pandemic

In Post-Apocalypse on February 19, 2009 at 1:56 pm

Often when we think of the Apocalypse we think of natural, social or nuclear disasters. Let me remind you that 700 years ago, half the population of Europe was wiped out by a nasty oozy pandemic. If the human race ever witnessed a real Apocalypse it certainly was then. 

It’ll happen again, but you don’t give a damn because you’re hoping big brother government will bail you out with some vaccine. Wake up buddy. How high on the list do you think you’ll be when they start handing out the limited supply of drugs, face masks and ventilators? Can you see them backing up the semi trucks with police in riot gear yelling, “Step back people! We need to vaccinate the computer programmers and Cold-Stone Ice Cream Artists first!” These supplies will go to cops, nurses and government officials. So unless you’re in for a career change you’ll probably die of some crappy bird flu. (continued)

There is another way of course. Stop relying on the government to save you. You can do it!

Everything will close down in order to stop the spread of the disease. Hooray kids, no school! Too bad hospitals will need to too, after all if you break your hand would you want to go to the hospital full of plague victims? No, so load up on antibiotics. I’m not going to give tips on how to get them because those routes would be illegal. I also am not going to teach anyone how to make them, because I haven’t a clue, but you can stay healthy on your own. Drink plenty of water and eat plenty of fruits and veggies. Your immune system will be your best friend so take care of it. Also, don’t freak out. Stress is always one of the biggest causes of illness.

Don’t wait till SARS 2: The Revenge, to buy a gas mask. Play it safe and get yourself a gas mask that’s easy to use and light. You don’t need the big space suit type thing unless you plan on hanging around these diseased people, but it would make a sweet Halloween costume in the mean time. You could get a little E.T. doll and… OK where was I?

Again, like in any Apocalyptic scenario, the city is the worst place to be in a pandemic. However, the Feds will do everything in their power to keep you there penned in. There are going to be quarantine areas built around the country to protect the healthy. Be ready to be moved around like cattle on trains by the National Guard. It’s marshal law now, so if you find yourself on the wrong side of the quarantine line, you’ll really need to buck up. Trying to survive in a designated plague area will be tough. You’ll want to prep your house (or someone’s house) so it can be sealed up. To some degree this will help stop an airborne illness from entering your  home, but more so it’ll keep sick people out. So add a couple locks and board up those windows and pretend you’re in Dawn of the Dead. The Feds aren’t going to let you out of quarantine any time soon, so unless you get real creative, you’ll have to store enough food to last at least a year. You may be able to go outside on the coldest days of the year to gather supplies.  The bubonic plague would dissipate during the coldest months. You are going to need to survive until most of the other people die and medical crews can come in and rescue the healthy. Be prepared for a Clorox bath, but you’ll just be glad you survived.

  1. […] let this serve as a warning if you’re not currently ready for a pandemic. At the very least, stock pile some medication and canned goods. (Fruits, veggies and […]

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