The Last Guide You'll Ever Need

Handling Cannibalism

In Post-Apocalypse on November 5, 2008 at 5:40 pm

Cannibalism is disgusting and “ethically questionable” at best. However the potential of having to deal with either your own temptations or the cannibalistic tendencies of the remnants of humanity is pretty much inevitable. Once the apocalypse strips away all our “normal” food sources, people will get desperate. Starving to death takes a long time so there will be plenty of time to talk your self into it. If you wait until you are put in that position to decide your stance on cannibalism you may make a mistake you will really, really regret. So it is of utmost importance to think it through carefully now, so when you are already reeling with post traumatic stress syndrome from what ever calamity wiped out society, you do not have to struggle with this complex ethical dilemma on an empty stomach…. (Grotesquely Continued)

First and foremost, you have to decide if there is anything more important to you then your own life. If not, then the decision is easy, cannibalism is for you. In fact, be careful not to wait too long before getting your hands dirty. Once things start to look hopeless, start with the fat people. A fat person can provide much more sustenance then someone who is just skin and bones. If you are all starving, that is going to mean less food the longer you wait. If your conscience still pricks you at this point, just tell yourself “I’m giving them a much more humane death then one of slow starvation (which, apparently, is one of the worst ways to go). Besides lots of cultures have practiced cannibalism for eons, not to mention other species, it is not pretty but it is natures way.”

However, if there are fates worse then death, and living with “cannibalism” on your life’s resume just does not seem worth it, then you have to ask your self if you are willing to see anyone you may be with die. For example your spouse, children, or that random stranger you fell in love with after they saved your life during the apocalypse and after you had lost everything and did not think you could go on they gave you hope, and in the following months you have shared everything and love each other deeply. If you are unwilling to watch a loved one die of starvation, then your two choices may be suicide and cannibalism. In these cases you could also draw the “I’m not going to kill anyone, but if they are already dead, then maybe” line.

Finally there is the (hopefully popular) opinion that there are some things worth dieing for, and even watching your loved ones die for, and among those things: under no circumstances will I eat or be complacent when others want to eat human flesh. Once you have reached this conclusion it is important for safety reasons not to fraternize with people who do not see things this way. They are cannibal time bombs, just waiting to go off. You do not have to preemptively kill them, however I would keep a safe distance from anyone I suspected of succumbing to cannibalism. Even if you meet them well after they succumbed, and it turns out they, “just did it, like once” and they “would never to do it again”, and they cry a whole bunch, if you let them stick around, you are taking a dangerous risk. You are just asking to pass through someone’s intestinal track before your remains can rest in peace.

  1. seriously read this aloud to yourself… then edit it. so how do i eat someone if i need to? what’s the best way to prepare human? montreal steak?
    Future King of Upper Michigan

  2. Yeah, thanks UP King. It still needs a little more work, but it should be better now.

  3. Mmmm… man flesh. Looks like meat’s back on the menu, boys!

  4. With all of the edible plants around the world it is pretty easy
    to avoid this if you know what you can eat. If you have the right seeds of the right plants you can eat well and have enough to give to many other. Read up on permaculture, you can get by pretty easy with that setup. Example you don’t eat the chickens, you eat the eggs they lay very often, and you make sure and let a few hatch when the season is right for chicks, ie. good odds of survival.

  5. Listen, eating dead people goes way beyond ethically questionable – its ethically deplorable, but, then again, desperate times call for desperate measures. Are you seriously going to pass up 100lbs of nutritious meat when you’re starving. If you are, then good for you, enjoy dieing of starvation. Me? I’ll be enjoying Ted, medium-rare. I’m not saying its an easy decision. Wait, yes I am. Seriously, if you don’t do it you’re dead and no longer have any ethics to deal with (assuming, as I do, no afterlife). If you go through with it and live, then at least you have the LUXURY of having the capacity for an ethical dilemma. Worse things have happened.

  6. […] a gun also makes you a bigger threat to fellow survivors who may not realize you have your heart in the right place. If they see you first and see you are packing heat, a peaceful greeting may seem far too risky. […]

  7. Looking beyond the obvious immorality of the act, cannibalism is a pretty dangerous practice and probably should be avoided. First off, a human being isn’t a deer or cow, they wont stand there and let you kill them without a fight. As such, even if you do get some food out of it you could risk being injured which limits your future survival. Secondly as was mentioned in the article, you will be seen as a pariah by any other survivor who was not willing to eat a human being. Like it or not the human being is a social creature and survival is easier in groups. Cannibalism basically severs the social contract. The very best reaction you may hope for is rejection and exile, open violent aggression is probably just as likely. Finally disease is going to be an issue. The fact is humans running around the post-apocalypse are not going to be the healthiest bunch. Eating meat from a species you know you can contract a disease from is insane. People are able to spread disease by sitting on a bus together. but hey, I am sure if you are so desperate that you will eat a person, you have more than enough supplies know how to correctly prepare nearly toxic meat. (i sure hope you checked Bob’s medical health before you chowed down). there is a reason we dont eat each other. it simply is not healthy. hell you are better off eating the bugs that the corpse attracts. (more protein and you know that the roaches didn’t contract hepatitis B back in the 70’s)

  8. I don’t know where i stand on this. If killing a person (defending your own life by killing them) isn’t out of the question, is cannabalism? I don’t know, all i know is that i WILL use the body for something and that goes with any dead animal too(after i eat the edible parts). fertilizer for crops might be the most humane option. or feeding meat-eating animals you are raising to kill and eat yourself. just keep them far away from you because they might decide you look mighty tasty.

  9. Hmmm, Human, the other white meat. Do we taste like chicken? I for one don’t want to find out but desperate times absolutely do call for desperate measures. I don’t think I could kill anyone no matter how hungry I get. What happens if you do and that person had knowledge of other food sources? I’d much rather try to work with others than against them.

  10. Psychologically, cermonial burial (respect for the dead) is almost universally human, and therefore ties people together. In a society where cannibalism is considered unrespectful (actually much worse), its widespread existence would alienate people, inhibiting the reformation of society.

  11. […] a gun also makes you a bigger threat to fellow survivors who may not realize you have your heart in the right place. If they see you first and see you are packing heat, a peaceful greeting may seem far too risky. […]

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