The Last Guide You'll Ever Need

Letter: Future King of Upper Michigan

In Letters on October 20, 2008 at 12:30 pm

Dear Survivor,
What do you recommend for non-food hunting armaments? Should I also invest in a samurai sword, a solid Louisville Slugger, or a Bowie Knife for more person interactions with future post-apocalypitans?
The Future King of Upper Michigan

It seems like you’ve been watching too many zombie movies, but your concern is not unwarranted. There will be some freakos out there, especially right away. When society collapses it will immediately be every man for himself. Those that are unprepared will partake in the worst cruelty in order to survive. These people will essentially be your “zombies.” Theft, murder and eventually cannibalism will be their way of life. You may look pretty tough with a samurai sword or some nun-chucks but you’ll soon be dead because these “zombies” have guns. They’ll shoot you and then start eating your ass.

My recommendation for surviving these maniacs is to get out of the city and hide out till they starve to death. However, if the Apocalypse hits when you’re in the city you better get a machine gun to ward off the swarm of unprepared maniacs. (We’ll talk about escaping the city later.)

Overall I would recommend light weight weapons such as brass knuckles, a trench knife or a pistol. Me, I’ll have all three. I’m not messing around out there. I know the temptation is great to go out and buy a Magnum or a Desert Eagle. But you don’t need to blow people’s limbs off. Just get a small caliber pistol that can get wet and dirty. Try this P99. But any sidearm will do.

See you at the apocalypse.


  1. YOU CRAZY AS HELL!!! But I recently invested in a serious pellet gun for all my squirrel hunting — thanks Survivor!

    The Future King of Upper Michigan

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