The Last Guide You'll Ever Need

Get a Gun

In Post-Apocalypse, Pre-Apocalypse on October 6, 2008 at 11:20 am

50 Caliber Hawkins!
     Gun possession is a controversial subject. In our pre-apocalyptic world a lot of people do not want guns around because they are dangerous. Don’t be a pussy. Once that apocalypse hits you’re going to wish you had one. If you’re a big anti gun person you can pat yourself on the back while you lick soup can labels and the rest of us get an adequate protein intake.

“Well, I can grow food and if I really want meat I can trap it”, and you may be right if the “apocalypse” is more like big tea party then a world wide calamity. The hard truth is that as the apocalyptic conditions go from bad to worse, you will likely have to be on the move. With the collapse of society, certain climates are going to become increasingly dangerous. If the apocalypse ushers in massive climate change of the cold variety, you had really better be ready to move. Now don’t throw away those seeds, but if you have to be on the move, hunting may very well be your only chance at a consistent source of food…..

So, what sort of a gun does a survivor need to tote? You probably are not going to be hunting trophy bucks or have the time to stalk other large game. I’d imagine most of your opportunities to score some meat will be of the squirrel/rabbit/other small rodent variety. A big gun will not leave much for you to eat. Therefore a varmint rifle is a solid choice. These sorts of guns have the added benefit of being quite light and very common, making foraging for extra ammunition a good prospect.
To prepare pre-apocalypse, about the best thing you can do is get a gun, or borrow one and do some target practice. Get a lesson in gun safety too. Shooting your self in the foot is bad, shooting your self in the foot post apocalypse, well, let’s just say hopefully you have at least one bullet left. Practice killing some rodents. If you are really adventurous, maybe even try to eating some, you are going to have to start getting used to the taste sooner or later. I knew some guys in college that ate squirrel fairly often, though you probably won’t have a cold High Life to wash it down with like they did. The following video takes you through the whole process:

  1. Dear Survivor,
    What do you recommend for non-food hunting armaments? Should I also invest in a samurai sword, a solid Louisville Slugger, or a Bowie Knife for more person interactions with future post-apocalypitans?
    The Future King of Upper Michigan

  2. The reason trapping and snares are illegal is because they are
    too effective, and can kill off all the game in an area in
    short order. Also in rivers the hoop net is illegal because it
    is insanely effective if done right. A old trick during the depression was to use a crank telephone to shock fish to the surface too, cranks are not common now, but you can use a insulation tester called a Megger.

  3. I grew up eating a lot of squirrels and rabbits.
    Even a porcupine once.
    You have heard the saying, “It tastes like chicken.”
    Well, I agree.
    That video shows them killing a squirrel with a shotgun.
    Learn to shoot with a .22.
    You get meat without picking all those pellets out.

  4. I’m vegan so I won’t be needing a gun for food hunting. Protein, you say? Overrated as I’m healthier than a meat eater. Of course the gun may come in handy for defense but that attitude is why this site exists anyhow. If I’ve got to shoot off others to survive, which includes animals, I’d rather die. WHY? I am made of the same substance as everything else in this universe and my physical existence is no more important than that of a rock.

  5. You know what Julie, you’re right, you are just as important as a rock. Why don’t you just lie down next to one and see which one lasts longer. You’ll do us all a favor.
    You’re a vegan you say? So that means you don’t hurt living things. Well, except for plants. While we’re making exceptions for our rules, why don’t we make an exception for your survival and make the species better off.
    Lets be serious. Humans are the only animal that take the feelings of its prey into consideration and forego food for the sake of ethics.
    Julie has clearly not considered the situation here. We are talking POST APOCALPYSE. Whole Foods is closed. You’re not going to be able to get your tofu infused soy immitation meals anymore. Grocery stores have been ransacked. Food is scarce. It will be kill or die and if you choose to die because the thought of killing is too much to bear or you think that your potential prey has as much of a right to live as you do, then don’t plan on living long.
    Here’s a little bit of logic for you. An enormous number of animals kill. All of these animals are wild animals that are part of nature. These animals conform to the rules of nature. What these animals do is natural. These animals kill. Killing is natural.
    Now, it is possible that only killing for survival/food/territory is natural, but killing, for whatever purpose, can be natural. So, get with the program Julie or get out of the way.

  6. I can’t help but notice that the entire article focuses on hunting as the main reason for having a gun. In reality, you will need that gun to hold onto your other key possessions (tools, fuel, shelter, etc.) long before you will have to hunt for food.

    It doesn’t matter how well prepared you are with provisions of any type, without a weapon and adequate ammo (and the ability to use them), you aren’t going to keep anything for long.

    With this in mind, your gun selection should be based, first and foremost, on the ability of the weapon to both actively and passively deter others. If you are limited to a single weapon you would want something that would also serve as a hunting tool, but that will likely not come until later.

    Finally, and most importantly, you need to be mentally prepared to take a life. Whether it is an animal or a person, if you are not ready to pull that trigger prior to the moment of choice, the odds are that you are going to falter.

  7. first, and i will try not to blather, Julie C, and i quote “Protein is a part of every cell in your body, and no other nutrient plays as many different roles in keeping you alive and healthy. The importance of protein for the growth and repair of your muscles, bones, skin, tendons, ligaments, hair, eyes and other tissues is proven. Without it, you would lack the enzymes and hormones you need for metabolism, digestion and other important processes.” and a list of other thing
    Next, Bourbaki is correct as to the ability to take a human (although sometimes animal) life, weather in a life threatening situation or not, can be complicated if not imposable, read “the most dangerous animal” by david livingston smith.

  8. I’m sure the veggie has her daily protien shake, but i’m pretty sure there won’t be an orange julius around after the appocalypse.

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