[update] The Homeland Security Secretary has declared the Pig Flu to be bull shit. You all have more time to prepare for the apocalypse.
The World Health Organization has raised its pandemic alert for swine flu to the second highest level, meaning that it believes a global outbreak of the disease is imminent.
Don’t run for the hills yet, but the doomsday clock is starting to move. Too bad, my book hasn’t even come out yet.
Bird flu, SARS, killer bees, anthrax, Y2K and now Pig Flu. We just don’t know what to be afraid of anymore! Better watch the news (and all the intermittent ads) to be sure you’re safe.
I really believe this swine mania will pass with a week, but there is a chance it could get ugly. So far, those with proper medical attention and healthy immune systems have recovered. However, when a virus is able to jump from an animal to a person and then from person to person it can mutate, making it harder to treat or fight off.
So, let this serve as a warning if you’re not currently ready for a pandemic. At the very least, stock pile some medication and canned goods. (Fruits, veggies and carbohydrates) Also fill up at least 10 gallon jugs of water and put them in your basement.
Remember, don’t be afraid, be prepared.
Chosen Savior,
I am very afraid of the apocalypse coming any day now. I have been
waiting for it since 1999, however I live in a different city now than
when the millennium came. Can you help me come up with a new plan?I live in an apartment building in Washington DC, I have a four door
car and will be traveling solo. Should I head North or South?Yours,
Distraught in the District
The East Coast will be as tough as Europe to survive in, but in the words of Dave Chappel; D.C.? Word. That’s a rough city, man. Never mind the traffic or population density, your biggest problem is being #1 on the bomb list. D.C., along with New York, is the most obvious target for rogue-nations and terrorists alike. Before planning your escape from D.C., you should really learn how to build a bomb shelter. (Continued…)
I wear long underwear six months out of the year. Now, in the spring, I go through a transition period. Like a moth emerging from a cocoon when the time is right, I determine the right springtime temperature to peel off my long-john chrysalis. Currently its 42 degrees and I’m hot as hell. I must soon transition, but going long-john free is hard to do. It’s like crack, once you’re used to the warmth and comfort, it’s hard to think about going back to that naked chilly feeling. (Continued…)
